It's 21.57, and we are playing our usual in and out of bed game. It's been going on since 21.15, that means we still have 15 more minutes before they fall asleep. I'm on my sargeant role, 'guarding the door' again.
If you wonder why I count meltdowns, it's a copying mechanism. I learnt it on a baby book while I was waiting for the girls to arrive. The advice was one of the techniques for dealing with colic when all else fails. It's for those moments late at night, when you are on your last ounce of energy and you've done everything you could and the baby is still unsettled and goes on crying desperately. The book suggested to look at the time because colic is usually predictable and starts at about the same time every night. Then you would know exactly how long it would go on for and you would see how each night it ended a little earlier. It also made you you realize that what seemed like three hours of crying was more like a few spurts of 15 min lots over a three hour period. If nothing else, it gave you some sense of control knowing that you could predict when it would start and end.
Susy Sheep had reflux as anewborn. So as the day neared its end the discomfort (which was there all day) would reach its peak. Normally I would breast feed them in tandem using the eazy2 pillow. This allowed me to feed two babies in one run and that way have some moments between feeds. But towards the end of the day Suzy would be so agitated and uncomfortable that feeding her was really difficult. She would arch her back after each gulp and get all worked up. We would have to stop constantly and take it very easy. I could only focus on her at that time. She also seemed to stay calmer if I, as opposed to anyone else, held her. So at 9 pm I would give her a bottle and cuddle her to sleep. Then she would settle in my arms and sleep in 15 minute runs until 11, then wake up for a breastfeed and cry her eyes out intermitently until 2. This went on for three or four weeks. Although at the time it felt like years. I found that sucking soothed her, but sucking milk was counterproductive because it only worked for a few seconds and then the reflux would hit. So I introduced the dummy. She was so little she didn't know how to hold it. She would suck it desperately for a few seconds then drop it. For days it felt like my second job, after breastfeeding, was dummy holder. Then I 'invented' the 'dummy crunch'. At night, as colic hit, I would position her over her side. I can't remember now if it was left or right, but it mattered. I would then hold her in my arms pressing the dummy into her mouth with my bicep. This seemed to work. So I then paced up and down with a steady rock watching the clock until the colic was over. And just like the book said, first it was 2, then 1.45, then 1.30 and like so until she was over it at around 3 months.
Since then, I apply this principle to lots of other similar situations. Those where you have done all you can, your patience tank is nearly out and there is not a lot else to do but wait. Meltdowns falls right into that category. So I count them. That way I can see how as the days go by there are less of them and are shorter and it's a big relief.
I'll come back to meltdown tricks later in future posts. For me it has been quite a journey and I want to share what I learned.
For now, here are my memorable moments of the day:
- As I got home at the end of my day and opened the front door, Lauren was waiting right on the other side and she greeted me with a loud and excited speech that went sor of like this: 'mommywerplayingwithmrspotatoandmrspotatoisverypretty'. She said this in Spanish, on top of her lungs, as fast as she could, and with her 38 month half tongue, then run off.
- weplayed 'horsey' and 'monster' for a little while before getting ready for bed. This is where I am the horse and they ride on my back. It's funny because as much as they usually like to do things by themselves, this one they pretty adamantly wanted to share. It was both of them on the ride or nothing. Not very good for my back but they loved it. Clementine would shout 'abajo caballo abajooo' (down horsey, down! Then I was a monster and I chased them. I walked slowly almost as if I were a zombie. And they would run as fast as they could trying to avoid being caught. The slow walking fed the anticipation and they would laugh histerically while trying to run.
- we played 'letters' for a few minutes just before their bedtime book. I put a pile of magnet letters on the floor and asked them to find the letter A which I had first showed them yesterday. They had no trouble finding them and then happily agreed to put all the letters back in the box so they could go to sleep.
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